The Leaving Song
by SilentBobina
Summary: Ephram ran from all his problems at the end of season. But was it only Madison or were there other reasons he ran? Slash DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE SLASH! thank you good day...


**The Leaving Song**

**This is slash. I don't think there's enough Everwood slash on this site. This happens at the end of last episode, after Amy's little chat with Ephram in the restaurant. There are flashbacks, if it's hard to understand let me know. The lyrics are AFI.**

**Don't waste your touch,**

**You won't feel anything,**

**Or were you sent to save me?**

I stare into the lighted restaurant at Amy, blonde hair cropped short, held back from her face. She was angry with me, I understood, after all she didn't know the whole story. As if Madison and the baby hadn't been enough of a reason to run. I held my memories inside, trying to forget that night when he'd kissed me out of grief, holding me with strong hands I'd feared so long ago. He hadn't told me about Mrs. Abbott, just called in tears, asked to come over. I knew Amy was what I still should have wanted but after that night, the feel of his thigh against me as he grazed my back with his fingertips, lifted my shirt, I felt nothing for her.

**I've thought too much,**

**You won't find anything**

**Worthy of redeeming.**

I'd spent my whole summer trying to get past this beautiful memory. I told myself it meant nothing until I stumbled into a holding cell for my desires. When I returned to Everwood Bright seemed happy and normal again, like before had just been a dream of him. Relief swept over me, I even clutched to the naïve hope that Amy and I could work it all out. "Dude, I'm glad you're back," Bright said when he opened the door. He hugged me in a masculine way, patting my back.

"Yeah," I whispered, stepping into his small yet savvy apartment. We sat down on the couch. I tried to stare at anything but him.

"So how was your summer?" Bright asked, sensing my discomfort.

I turned toward him and said quickly, "Look I don't want to act like nothing happened."

Bright stood and sighed, "Look man," he said, "I'm with Hannah-"

"I understand," I interrupted, looking at my hands, "And I don't want anything more to happen, I just…"

Bright sat down again, leaning all his weight back into the couch. "Ok then," He whistled, slight disappointment peeling the edges of his voice.

**Yo he estado aqui muchas veces antes y regreso**

**To break down and cease all feeling,**

**Burn now what once was breathing,**

**Reach out and you may take my heart away.**

"Fuck," I spat out under my breath, "Would it be so horrible?" I asked, laughing through a forming sob. Bright glanced at me. I started crying, large tears spilling down my cheeks.

"I never meant for this to happen," He said angrily. He stared at me and my tears burn from shame.

"Fuck you," I screamed standing and walking to the door. He followed me and blocked me from leaving. "You think _I _meant for this to happen?" I strangled out through sobs. "Things were fine until this." He reached out to me, studying my face, and put his arm behind me slowly pulling me closer. My breath caught in my throat as my weak frame moved toward his strong muscular one.

**Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy,**

**So what befalls the flawless?**

**Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully, **

**Now watch as it destroys me.**

He kissed me, tongue melting with tongue, bodies interlocking. I felt everything, rippled muscles, tendons stretching as he lifted my shirt. I grew hard as his fingers grazed my just visible boxer line and I ran kisses down his neck. My breath came faster as he undid my belt. All summer I'd dreamed of this, stained hotel sheets and my sleeping bag with this sin. Now I was here, I had given up only to end where I began.

**Y regreso aqui otra vez y comienzo**

**Break down, and cease all feeling,**

**Burn now what once was breathing,**

**Reach out and you may take my heart away.**

I remembered a night in Venice, drunk as could be, smoking a cigarette on my hotel balcony. It was a breezy night and the balcony was framed with a bronze carved railing with angels and fruit patterns looking out over the water. I'd been given a free night at this four-star place from helping with the dishes. I stood there, thought of his face, the shaggy blonde hair falling in his face, blue eyes closed as he moved, sweat on his forehead. I had felt myself, imagined him in me, surrounding me. I came back to reality, took the cigarette in my left hand and pushed the tip into my right palm. It sizzled and my flesh melted around the ashes. I cried with pain and dropped the cigarette as I stumbled into my hotel room. I changed my dirtied shorts through my inebriated haze and blacked out on the bed.

**I left it all behind and never said goodbye,**

**I left it all behind and never said goodbye,**

**I left it all behind and never said goodbye,**

**I left it all to die.**

I left for Europe two days after that night. When he got to my house Bright was crying, face red, eyes puffy, vulnerable. I invited him in and we sat down on the couch together. After a few awkward minutes he began to hug me. I was startled but I put my arms around him gently softening at his child-like pain. Then he kissed me, a small innocent kiss on the lips that begged to be held, loved, wanted, and I spun out of control.

I woke up the next morning alone, stripped bare, lying entangled in sheets. They were blood stained and wet with sweat and dirt. I rose quickly, undressing the bed until the mattress was naked, passion crumpled into a ball of cloth. I dressed and swiftly went to the basement to hide the sheets, wash it all away. I sighed as I loaded the sheets, shaking my head, holing back foolish tears.

I went back upstairs and tried to gain self-control. I poured a glass of lemonade and sipped it slowly. It was almost noon according to the glowing microwave display. "Hi Ephram," My father spoke from behind me. I jumped and turned to him, "Ready for your trip?" He asked smiling. I glared into my orange juice. "Are you sure you want to go?" He continued, "I mean Amy might need you what with Rose and the cancer–" At that I snapped my head up and gained a new understanding. That night I went to say goodbye to Amy, but I didn't look for Bright.

**I saw its birth, I watched it grow**

**I felt it change me.**

**I took the life, I ate it slow**

**Now it consumes me.**

I awoke from my memories to the morning after I'd returned to Everwood. I was in Bright's bed, sheet wrapped around my waist. I was alone again but this time I smelled bacon grease and burnt toast. I heard a fire detector beeping, the signs of life lightened my mood. I lay there basking in this feeling, lost in myself, consumed in what I had become. "Ehpram!" Bright screamed. I smiled to myself and stood.

**I break down and cease all feeling,**

**Burn now what once was breathing,**

**Reach out and you may take my heart away,**

… **Heart away**

I walked into the kitchen in my boxers and stared at Bright, unsure of what to do. He gave me an admiring grin and walked towards me, kissing my cheek. I smiled at him and put out my hand to receive a plate with a large helping of bacon and toast. As he handed me my plate, I saw his eyes linger on my scar from the cigarette, pale and round on my palm. The skin was so different it was like it was from another world.


End file.
